not my river

not my river

I was walking and I heard
a river
laughing
somewhere behind the trees
It's not for me.
Not my river,
not our trees.
Not your laughter,
not for me

Then
I was sleeping and I smelled
your hair
on the pillow,
next to me
It's not you sleeping,
couldn't be
not your scent,
not your sounds
but I SAW YOU
sleeping
next to me.
only
it isn't you that I see.

And
I was walking and I heard
your laughter
when the river flowed
but it's not true
Not my river,
the sound's not you
only water,
cold clear water
rushing over me
everything becoming dim
but it's ok,
in the end
I've always known
that I could
swim

Why didn't you?
why didn't you